• Secret Administration Plans to Invade Canada.

    I am not making this up. From the WashPost:

    The United States government does have a plan to invade Canada. It’s a 94-page document called “Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan — Red,” with the word SECRET stamped on the cover. It’s a bold plan, a bodacious plan, a step-by-step plan to invade, seize and annex our neighbor to the north. It goes like this:

    First, we send a joint Army-Navy overseas force to capture the port city of Halifax, cutting the Canadians off from their British allies.

    Then we seize Canadian power plants near Niagara Falls, so they freeze in the dark.

    Then the U.S. Army invades on three fronts — marching from Vermont to take Montreal and Quebec, charging out of North Dakota to grab the railroad center at Winnipeg, and storming out of the Midwest to capture the strategic nickel mines of Ontario.

    Meanwhile, the U.S. Navy seizes the Great Lakes and blockades Canada’s Atlantic and Pacific ports.

    At that point, it’s only a matter of time before we bring these Molson-swigging, maple-mongering Zamboni drivers to their knees! Or, as the official planners wrote, stating their objective in bold capital letters: “ULTIMATELY TO GAIN COMPLETE CONTROL.”

    Rumsfeld… Wolfotwitz… Feith… neocons… naaaah. The plan was constructed and approved by the Department of War in 1930, then updated in 1934 and 1935. It was all done under the watchful eye of the second President Roosevelt.

    Why would we want Canada? Well, only as a launching point for a war against Great Britain.

    Those wacky New Dealers.

    The author of the WashPost piece, Peter Carlson, tries to be clever throughout the piece. He even opens:

    Invading Canada won’t be like invading Iraq: When we invade Canada, nobody will be able to grumble that we didn’t have a plan.

    Barrel of laughs, that one.

    These WashPost reporters should stop trying to be clever and just report the news, lest they end up laughing-stocks like their cousin Froomkin.

  • Tonight’s music.

    This afternoon, I listened to Elgar’s Falstaff and the well-played Enigma Variations, but it’s now Friday night. Jazz on XM!