According to Lindsay Lohan’s Wikipedia entry, Lindsay Lohan is “an American actress and pop music singer.” My knowledge of Lindsey Lohan’s current predicaments, and the extent of my familiarity with Linday Lohan, can be attributed largely to cultural osmosis.

Here is a photo of Lindsay Lohan:

According to that Wikipedia entry, Lindsay Lohan will be 21-years-old on July 2nd. According to cultural osmosis, she likes to drink herself into several stupors in one binge.

This is AGAINST THE LAW:

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The 20-year-old actress was charged with DUI (driving under the influence) after she crashed her car on Saturday night (26.05.07) after partying at Los Angeles’ Les Deux club and the Sky Bar at the Mondrian hotel until around 5am.

The legal drinking age in the US is 21 and alcohol cannot be served in California after 2am, and police have now vowed to clamp down on law breakers.

John Carr, spokesman for the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control, said: “We have a duty to check on these things whenever there’s a report of a minor involved in a crash. Underage drinking is a huge problem in the state of California.”

Lindsay Lohan recently got drunk and drove her car into a pole. One can purchase shards from her wrecked car on e-Bay:

“UP FOR AUCTION ARE 100 PER CENT AUTHENTIC GUARANTEED PIECES AND PARTS OF ACTRESS Lindsay Lohan’S Mercedes SL 65 AMG black convertible RECOVERED FROM THE SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT ON THE NORTHWEST CORNER OF SUNSET BLVD. AND FOOTHILL DR. IN BEVERLY HILLS, CA.

“BEFORE THE SCENE WAS COMPLETELY CLEANED UP, WE RECOVERED THESE REMAINING FRAGMENTS OF HER CAR, INCLUDING THE FRONT LIGHTS AND PARTS OF THE BODY.

“THE WINNING BIDDER WILL RECEIVE A SWORN WRITTEN, AND SIGNED STATEMENT TO THE EXACT ACCOUNTS AND CLAIMS STATED ABOVE FROM THE PERSON WHO RECOVERED THESE ITEMS FROM THE SCENE.”

I’ve found an e-Bay auction where one can purchase a “Grass Divot from Lindsay Lohan’s DUI Car Accident.” (BUY NOW for $100.)

Lindsay Lohan’s dad has revealed to the lonely nation that his daughter has “multiple addictions to alcohol and drugs, including the powerful painkiller OxyContin.”

“I spoke to the people treating Lindsay, because I wanted to make sure she was getting the right care,” said Michael [Lohan], who is studying to be a drug rehab counselor with the faith-based addiction recovery organization Teen Challenge. “And I’m satisfied they are doing the right thing for her, helping her detox from the painkillers and things. That’s a very important step.”

Granted, that all is probably TMI. It was painful for me to research these things, but there is a political angle, folks. Last December, Lindsay Lohan was promised help:

The club-hopping 20-year-old actress said in an e-mail to friends that she is preparing to clean up her image and take on the media with the help of a friend — former Vice President Al Gore.

“Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me,” Lohan wrote in a rambling letter riddled with misspellings that she sent to friends and associates. Portions of the e-mail were published in the New York Post.

“If he [Gore] is willing to help me, let’s find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK.”

Lohan told friends of a desire to “release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press” and spoke of “how our society should be educated for the better of our country.”

Al Gore, that all-American businessman who buys carbon offsets from himself as a way around the goofy environmental laws he pushes, slammed the door on Lindsay Lohan when she needed him most. His peeps denied that he knew her.

[W] hen “Access Hollywood” contacted Gore’s office for a comment on Lindsay’s e-mail, plans seemed to be anything but firm.

“I can confirm for you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests,” a rep for Gore told Access.

Al Gore failed Linday Lohan. Of course, Gore is a clown at a circus he’s helped design..