Mark A. Kilmer (the weblog)

Out of respect for the good and honest reporters at our smaller papers, which are arguably a part of the “mainstream,” I’m directing this at “Big Media.”

1. First all-Democrat Congress in over a decade.

Yes, the Democrats seize control of the House and the Senate from Mark Foley and the Republicans. Nancy and Harry triumphantly pledge and plan to knock down Republican totems, kill Republican ideas, and end the war in Iraq by a date certain, following a congressionally defined timetable. When push comes to show, of course, they cave, but big media applauds the Democrats for their supreme triumph.

2. Iraq, the progress, David Petraeus, the road to victory. Thirty-thousand additional troops and the new, counter-terrorism strategy of General David Petraeus have given the Iraqis a clear path to victory. The big media first dismissed the surge as another Bush lie and then, when it proved successful, stopped talking about it.
3. The early 2008 Presidential campaign. The big media is fickle. They love Romney then they love Rudy then they love Romney then they love Huckabee then they love Romney then they love McCain then they love Romney. Back and forth from Hillary to Obama then it becomes media-hip to trash Hillary. John Edwards peeps that he’s not left the building, but not one hears. Or cares.
4. Mortgage crisis, housing bubble. It’s the subprime thaang. Subprime lenders went bankrupt and borrowers defaulted, and big media knew that they had found the further collapse of the Bush economy. But they refused to walk into the soup kitchen.
5. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigns. Disgraced and corrupt, big media tells us, Gonzales is forced to quit after a lifetime of cronyism, corruption, and ineptitude. He fired those U.S. attorneys/media darlings, and it ticked bid media off bigtime, as it interrupted their chants of: “LAME DUCK! LAME DUCK! LAME DUCK!”
6. Anna Nicole Smith kicks it. And big media went wild, paying big money for exclusive rights. Big media made stars out of all the “heroes” of the Anna Nicole saga: Larry Birkhead, Florida circuit court Judge Larry Seidlin, Howard “K” Stern, Kato Kaelin, etc. CBS News, through Viacomm, bought exclusive rights for their Entertainment Tonight and The Insider shows.
7. Defective toys from the Peoples Republic of China. Political prisoners in the PRC, lost in the lao gai prison system, are forced to manufacture toys with whatever the PRC government gives them, including materials laced with lead. Big media calls for the United States government to inspect every toy and take care of people but for gawdsakes, leave the lao gai alone!
8. Who is funner, Lindsey, Britney, or Paris? Big media cannot decide, so it sends photographers to follow all three in-and-out of clubs, prisons, and rehab facilities.
9. Thirty-two people, not including gunman Seung-Hui Cho, are killed in a two-part shooting at VA Tech. And big media races to get footage of the gunman reciting his diatribe for a video camera. NBC wins and ratings soar! ‘T is a big, big day for TV Journalism, as NBC airs and reairs this choice footage of a homicidal jerk.
10. Republican Senator Larry Craig and his weird signals. Larry Craig is arrested for sending strange, coded signals with his gestures at a Minnesota airport. Craig responds that he did not actually ask the undercover cop for… oh, whatever… and that he merely has a “wide stance.” Big media runs cover stories on GOP hypocrisy, berating Senator Craig for his allegedly projected orientation.

Do they teach this stuff in journalism school? I’m afraid I wouldn’t know.